Keep Your Bed Warm and Your Standards Low
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: Hijikata wakes up to a cold, empty bed when staying over at Gintoki's and is determined to do what he needs to in order to get his personal body heater back. But is he willing to pay the price for it?


**Title: **Keep Your Bed Warm and Your Standards Low

**Pairing: **GinHijiGin

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **No

**Keep Your Bed Warm and Your Standards Low**

Something was wrong.

Something wasn't right.

Something was off.

Something was...

Hijikata's eyes opened – cold.

He was cold.

He was bundled up in the comforter... but he was cold.

Closing his eyes, he shoved his face into his pillow and took a deep breath to find _sweet_. Too sweet, not bitter enough... sweet – Gintoki, he was sleeping over at Gintoki's.

Reaching out his hand, he grumbled loudly, letting Gintoki know he was displeased. _Cold_ and displeased. But his hand found nothing and he lifted his head, a cuss at the read. Gintoki shouldn't be out of reach because that was inconvenient, but... there was no lump. The lump that should be Gintoki wasn't there. That side of the futon was empty.

_Why_ was the futon empty? Obviously that was why Hijikata was cold, goddammit! Bitching up a spectacular storm, he looked around the room, but there was no sign of the walking heater and Hijikata seriously considered chopping off the bastard's legs so he couldn't wander off in the middle of the godforsaken night, taking his addictive heat with him. There was a niggling of worry mixed in there amongst the grumpiness, too, but come on! He was cold! Yeah, he was concerned, but he was also cold and at the moment, the chill that had already turned his toes to ice was winning out over everything else.

Thinking maybe Gintoki was going to the restroom or something, he decided to wait a couple minutes before he left the little warmth he had accumulated by himself.

So, he waited.

And waited.

Ten minutes later, he cussed under his breath and rolled off the futon. Gintoki did this sometimes, wake up at a weird hour, but rarely did Gintoki actually leave. He usually would just wake up and stay next to Hijikata until he was able to fall asleep again – at times, he'd accidentally wake Hijikata up as well. Odd hours of the night weren't new to Hijikata at all, it came with the job. For Gintoki, he suspected it was residual from a time before he'd come to Edo, a time of war that Hijikata... wanted to hear about. But that would require Gintoki opening up to him and the bastard was so fucking tight lipped about everything.

It was annoying.

But... maybe someday Gintoki would trust him enough to talk about it? Hijikata hoped so, he really was curious about it, so much so it sometimes burned him up. He'd beat it out of Gintoki if he could, but the sugar freak was so stubborn – about as stubborn as Hijikata, if not more so. He didn't want to have to pull teeth to get Gintoki to talk to him, he wanted Gintoki to do it all on his own because he _wanted_ to. It was something that required a lot of patience and there had been times that Hijikata was _sure_ Gintoki was about to say something, but he'd covered it up with a bad joke or he just shut down altogether. Patience wasn't something Hijikata had to spare, so this relationship was really challenging for him in a lot of ways, but he couldn't complain since he found it to be entirely worth it.

There was a light beneath the door and Hijikata tried to look through the crack, but it was too small. Sliding the door open a tiny bit, he peeked out and spotted Gintoki right away. He was sitting on the floor in front of the kotatsu reading a Jump, his hair still sleep mussed. There was a lamp on the table, he had his knees bent up and pulled to his chest and... he looked like a little kid. A stupid permy haired kid that occasionally bounced in place or scowled at the page or puttered happily at it.

What a stupid moronic idiot... who was sorta cute in his green pajamas, but not really. No, definitely not.

Stepping away from the door, he ran a hand through his hair and scrubbed at his scalp. He wanted to sleep, but he knew he couldn't knowing Gintoki was sitting alone out there. Maybe it was stupid, but he wanted to at least see if Gintoki wanted – or maybe needed and that worried him – some company before he tried to get back to sleep. It was the only way he'd be able to lay on the futon in peace. And though he'd like to think that if Gintoki needed him, the idiot would wake him and say so, but he knew that that wasn't like Gintoki for many reasons.

Coming to a decision, he went to the futon, grabbed the comforter – because Gintoki would at least be glad to see the stupid thing – and slowly slid the door open. He paused on the threshold when Gintoki looked up at him and they just watched each other for a moment. Silently, Hijikata held up the comforter in front of him like an offering and tilted his head in question. Gintoki's mouth wobbled and contorted until he had a cross between a smile and smirk and he jerked his head in a little _come here_ motion.

Approaching, Hijikata asked when he was close enough, "What're you doin' up?"

Gintoki shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"'Cause?"

Another shrug and he looked back at the Jump. "Just couldn't."

Evasive, the bastard was being evasive and Hijikata was too tired to press. He didn't want to fight, not right now, and if he pushed, they'd fight. No fighting at... what time was it anyway? Bah, that didn't matter. Nodding in acceptance of Gintoki's answer, he was about to sit next to Gintoki when he got a different idea. Obviously there was some sort of reason Gintoki couldn't sleep and Hijikata didn't know if he needed comfort or what, so he was just going to go with his gut.

"Scoot the kotatsu forward," he said, setting the comforter on the sofa.

Gintoki gave him a confused look, but Hijikata waved a hand to get him moving while he ventured back into the bedroom. Yawning behind a hand, he rooted around in the closet until he pulled out a second blanket, a smaller one than Gintoki's precious, stupid comforter. Taking back out in the living room, he kicked at Gintoki until the bastard scooted forward enough for Hijikata to throw down the folded up comforter. Stepping over it, he sat on the fluffy thing with Gintoki between his legs and he was raised enough that he could rest his chin on top of Gintoki's head if he wanted to. Last, he grabbed the blue comforter and draped it over his shoulders, fanning it out on the sides so it encompassed Gintoki as well.

He could feel Gintoki was a little tense and that was kind of annoying because shouldn't they be passed that already? They'd been dating for months, there shouldn't be so much tensing _still_. He could maybe understand still tensing when bottoming – on the rare occasion Gintoki actually bottomed, the asshole – but just when sitting together? Hell, Hijikata's legs were the ones spread, not Gintoki's, so what was the problem?

He wasn't going to ask.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around Gintoki's middle, leaned against the sofa, and pulled the bastard to him, linking his fingers over Gintoki's navel to hold him there. Gintoki tensed a bit more, but didn't pull away and instead huffed lightly before the rigidity in his shoulders slowly began to ebb.

"Did I wake you or somethin'?" Gintoki asked, stupidly trying to turn his head and tilt it back to see Hijikata.

"No." Yes, he'd been cold. "You just readin'?"

Gintoki held up his Jump over their heads in both hands wriggled it back and forth. "Hai! One of my favorite issues!"

"Keep your voice down, stupid," Hijikata chastised, unlocking his hands to reach up and pinch Gintoki's cheek. "Your girl is asleep."

Gintoki whined and slapped him away. "I know that! Don't tell me what to do in my own apartment, blasphemer."

Hijikata gargled and thumped a closed fist against Gintoki's chest. "Moron, go back to reading your dumb book."

"You're the dumb one," Gintoki pouted, hunkering down against Hijikata's chest.

It settled into quiet then, Gintoki resting the book against his bent legs, leaning heavily in the cage of Hijikata's arms. Hijikata's hands had slid down to Gintoki's hips, idly just touching while the other read and made soft reaction noises – noises that weren't any form of adorable. Touching gently always helped for some reason, keeping his movements slow and deliberate.

Hijikata closed his eyes and just breathed, content the way they were. Without thinking, he absently nuzzled into the hair just behind Gintoki's temple. He took a breath, taking comfort from the familiar sweet scent. One of his hands ran up Gintoki's chest, nothing sexual or arousing about the gesture, it was just touching for the sake of touching in the dead of night.

Gintoki paused his reading to set the book down on top of his knees so he could grab the edges of the comforter on both sides and draw it inward, further cocooning them. Hijikata smirked at the stupid gesture and moved his hand back to Gintoki's hip when he felt the other tense under the exploratory ministration. He just chalked it up to Gintoki being on edge due to whatever woke him and left it at that, he really wasn't in the mood to fight at all.

He could sleep like this, actually. Didn't mean he was going to, but he could if he tried. Gintoki's weight was comfortable against his front where he could feel that Gintoki was fine and warm and comfortable and, again, _warm._ Gintoki's permy little curls tickled his nose until it scrunched, so he nuzzled his head there again to get them away. He didn't go too near Gintoki's ear, he knew that if he did it'd be nothing but a distraction, just as he refrained from touching Gintoki's stomach too much. The guy was such a pervert that getting to close to any one of his hotspots could trigger him and get him going, Hijikata was sore enough for one night.

"Oi," Gintoki grunted softly.

"Mm?" There was a pause and Hijikata slit his eyes open as it stretched on and lightly pinched Gintoki's hip. "Wha'?"

Gintoki wriggled, then threw a grin over his shoulder, waving his book again. "Read with me."

Hijikata pursed his lips and his brows furrowed as he leaned slightly to one side to see Gintoki better. "...Eh?"

"Read with me," Gintoki repeated, acting every bit the excited adolescent. "I'll read the part of Hayate since he's the hero and you can read the part of his wife, Chiyo. He's trying to bring her back to life, see." Gintoki pointed to the cover picture where a tall man was holding a flaming sword in a strike position toward a black abyss. "She was killed in the second chapter by a crazed ex. He killed himself at the same time and now he's holding her soul hostage in hell." Gintoki's voice, though hushed, was getting faster and he was wriggling again. "But in this chapter, Hayate has made it through the whirly twirly passage to hell and is talking to her for the first time. Read the rest of it with me."

Hijikata's face had fallen flat. "I can't believe you read this trash. No, not doing this, t'ch. Kid stuff."

Gintoki elbowed him. "It's not! Read. With. Me. Ba-ka ya-rou."

"No."

"Yes."

Hijikata shook his head. "Uh-uh."

"Yes," Gintoki hissed, squirming in place and poking back at Hijikata persistently with his elbow.

"Stop that."

"Just read with me," he whined.

"Said no." Pouting, Gintoki twisted around until he could press his lips to Hijikata's. It was a good kiss... a _really_ good one with tongue and teeth and it was very convincing. But when they pulled apart, Hijikata narrowed his eyes after blinking the daze out of them and said against Gintoki's soft lips, "Still no."

Glaring, Gintoki harrumphed and twisted back around, his pout a whole new level of magnificent. "Your breath stinks anyway."

Just for that, Hijikata held Gintoki tighter and kissed at his neck, even nipped a little bit. He held on tighter as Gintoki started flailing and only stopped when he took a hard blow in the gut.

"You really won't do it?"

"No."

"Not even for... mayo?"

Hijikata couldn't help it, his interest was piqued. "Huh?"

"Ma-yo," Gintoki enunciated, tilting his head to leer at him. "Read for a bottle?"

And then it was Hijikata's turn to pout as he could already feel himself waning. He didn't want to read a stupid Jump story... but mayo.

Mayo.

Mayonnaise.

Sustenance of life.

"Make it two," he growled, looking away, disgusted with himself.

Mayo.

"Deal! I start!" Resettling against Hijikata by wriggling his shoulders and clearing his throat, Gintoki began, "My beautiful wife, I'll find a way to get you out and get you your body back!"

Hijikata loathed everything in the world just then and mumbled out, "You musn't... it's –"

"No, no, that's all wrong!" Gintoki interrupted, nudging Hijikata with an elbow, something he was making a habit of doing this evening. "You have to change your voice and really get yourself into character, otherwise you just sound stupid, stupid."

"But –"

"Three," Gintoki interjected quickly. "Three bottles of mayo!"

"Goddamn you, cretin!"

"Just do it," Gintoki replied in that deep, weird _just do it_ voice he had as he pointed back at Hijikata.

Sighing heavily, defeated and annoyed, Hijikata looked over Gintoki's shoulder at the Jump and tried again. "You musn't! It's too dangerous!"

"Your voice could go a _little_ higher," Gintoki muttered and Hijikata hit him. "Then again, it's fine."

"Quit breaking the flow! If you're going to make me do this, then read!"

Laughing, Gintoki nodded. "But light of my life, my moon and stars, there's nothing I won't do for you!"

"You don't understand..." Gintoki turned the page. "You just – I love you," cue inappropriate and irrational blush that spawned for no reason, "but things have... changed."

"What... what do you mean?"

"I want to stay with him now..."

Gintoki gasped in surprised and quickly turned the page. "But he killed you! We were happy and he destroyed everything!"

"And in death I have found life! A new life, with him!" Gintoki took in a large breath and Hijikata batted at him. "Turn the page already!"

No, he wasn't getting into it or anything, that would just be stupid. And really lame and Hijikata was anything but lame. They continued reading their parts, going back and forth to the pictures and by the end of it they were both sniffling and outraged as the chapter left off with a cliffhanger so they didn't know if Hayate was going to follow through and kill himself to be with Chiyo or if he was going to give up on her and let her be happy with her ex for all eternity. Once they were done throwing respective fits, Gintoki turned the page and started reading from the next story.

"Oi, what're you doing?"

"For three mayo bottles I think you can do another one, bastard."

"Guhhh, who am I this time?"

"A knight, I'm a knight too."

Hijikata nodded and tilted his head to press a quick kiss to Gintoki's temple just as the other started reading. It was ridiculous, what they were doing. Idiotic and... fun-ish. It could be worse. They broke character to tease each other, got into the stories – because they ended up doing more than just two – voices lower than usual so as not to wake the girl. It wasn't the worst night Hijikata had ever had, not by a long shot, and... okay it was fun, he was having fun. Only Gintoki could get him to do this, act this way, let loose and goof around over something so stupid.

By the time they finally retreated to the bedroom, Hijikata was able to fall right to sleep once he had Gintoki pressed up and passed out against him and he was _finally_ the right amount of warm.

**The End**


End file.
